Do I Even Have the Right?

Every day there is at least a single moment
Just one fleeting instance where
I find myself frozen within the coldest minute
Bitter words pooling in my mouth like blood
And my eyes feel like the hollow hallways they are
A sure sign that I’m losing my head again
The frost bitten tips of my fingers just a reminder
I only get to wonder how you are now

Between one and two of the early morning black
A cigarette with my coffee to match
I scribble and try as I might to get down anything
But I’m lucky if I can keep my toast and nicotine
Never mind a verse worth the effort, worth the time
The clock ticks and I smoke and I watch the ink bleed
A heavy, arthritic, tired hand rests a beat
And I only get to wonder how you are now

I only get to wonder how you are now

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